• he-said-she-said.jpg
    Juniors Hampton Henderson and Sophie Zetzsche argue over Halloween Parties vs. Trick or Treating in the He Said; She Said. Mckenzie Keeler.

He Said; She Said

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Every year, students are left with the question, “How should I spend my Halloween?” Juniors Hampton Henderson and Sophie Zetzsche narrowed the choices down to Halloween parties and trick or treating in the He Said; She Said.

He Said:

If you go trick-or-treating past the age of twelve, you are an immature, uncultured, greedy little child. It is a widely known fact that the potential shenanigans at Halloween parties greatly outweigh any and all hijinks that might be had trick-or-treating. In fact, this information is backed up by the controversial Harvard study, “The Shenanigans-to-Hijinks Debate” of 2009.

Where do I start with the downsides of trick-or-treating? For one, the strain it puts on your body is unbearable. Sure, the night starts out fun. You’ve got an empty bag, a full heart and your friends by your side. Then, as the night goes on everything just deteriorates into a state of chaos, misery and pain. Those little thirty-foot walks from house to house start to really add up. Before you know it, you’ve walked miles and have no idea where you are. “Have I passed that house before?”, “Am I even still in the neighborhood I started in?” These are a couple of the questions you will be asking yourself at about the one-hour mark. On top of that, the pillowcase you started the night with has really cultivated some mass. Before long, you’ll find yourself carrying a 30-pound sack of Type 2 Diabetes. At this point, you may be saying, “But Hampton, aren’t you getting cardio in walking all that distance?” or “But Hampton, aren’t you getting gains by carrying that sugar-infused pillowcase?” To this I would say, “Sure you may be getting gains, but at what cost? Your Halloween? Your friendships? Your happiness? This isn’t what Coach Wolf would want.” Also, all of those calories you burn by walking, they’ll return by tomorrow. What do you think happens to all that candy you eat? By the next day, you’ll have lost a crisp zero calories.

I’ve spent enough time talking about why trick-or-treating is a waste of time, it’s time to talk about how great Halloween parties are. Halloween parties take the few positives of trick-or-treating and vastly improve them. You still get to dress up in a costume, but instead of having it fall apart after three houses, it stays functional all night, and you still get to impress all of your friends with it. Secondly, the food is a major improvement from trick-or-treating. At Halloween parties, you get real food, none of that packaged, sugary garbage. You get top notch cuisine such as pigs-in-a-blanket, those amazing soft store-bought cookies and if you’re lucky, you might even get your hand on some Snyder’s Handmade Pretzels. At Halloween parties, it’s customary for each attendant to bring one dish, potluck style. This brings a diverse spread of cuisine to the party, each person bringing their specialty dish. There is nothing about Halloween parties that make them inferior to trick-or-treating.

My opponent would have you believe that trick-or-treating is not an utter waste of time. I implore you to mull over what I have told you today and make the right choice. Don’t choose a night of sore calves and pain, choose a night of socialization and delicious food. Make the right decision.

She Said:

While many students spend Halloween at spooky parties, there is no doubt that trick-or-treating is the best way to spend the Hallows’ Eve. Although a festive Halloween party might appear to be the “most fun” or “age appropriate,” no party even begins to compare to the thrill a person gets while trick-or-treating.

The best way to spend a Halloween is trick-or-treating for the free candy. You get to put on a costume and beg for candy. What an experience! There is no better feeling than coming home on Halloween throwing the 10-pound pillow case of candy onto the table and examining the collection you have earned. After throwing out the apple from the lame house on the corner, sitting down and counting out all the different pieces is a tedious, yet rewarding. A good year’s candy collection can typically last until the next year and it is the championship trophy for a job well done. Collecting free candy is the perfect way to spend the night.

Trick-or-treating is all about the thrill. The mad dash from door to door is exhilaration everyone needs for at least one day of their lives. Most people think that the best way to get that adrenaline flowing is a crazy roller coaster, but a better and inexpensive way to satisfy the need for a good thrill is trick-or-treating. The excitement of trick-or-treating has the power to turn every indoor kid into Usain Bolt and every fairy princess into a beast with a need for speed. Being the first one at the door, you obviously get more candy, so the race out of the block party and into the once familiar neighborhood will make or break the night.

Trick-or-treating is the best way to spend a Halloween is because it is great exercise. Ricky Bobby said, in the award-winning movie “Talladega Nights”, “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” This quote is very true to the art of trick or treating. To be successful and gather the most candy, you need to be speedy. The mad sprints from house to house are great exercise and help everyone to reach their Fit Bit step goal before they go back home and eat their body weight in candy. Trick-or-treating is the perfect way to go ahead and burn off the candy calories before you even start. If you are at a party, you are in no way getting exercise, and just stealing candy out of the variety bag that is meant for the trick-or-treaters.

Despite popular belief, you can never outgrow your trick-or-treating years, and honestly, the teen years are the prime time to trick-or-treat. You are big enough to push all of the little kids out of the way for more candy, you can now drive to the neighborhoods with the king size candy bars and last, with a later curfew, there is a lot more time to collect candy. Take advantage of these prime trick-or-treating years while you can. Do not waste your Halloween at a lame party where everyone is dressed up in the same costume.




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