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Editorial - page 11

Editorials represent the opinion of the individual writer. The "Green and Gold" welcomes letters to the editor and reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity and content. If you have any questions or concerns, please e-mail our staff at greenandgold@wesleyanschool.org .

He Said; She Said

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He Said:

Batman and Robin, Lucy and Ricky, Tom and Jerry, Koch and Hart, Obama and Biden, Ellie and Camille… these are some of the most famous pairs of our society, but one pair tops them all: Joey and Chandler. Joey and Chandler from the famous 90’s sitcom, Friends, did everything together. They kept ducks and chickens in their apartment, they dated the same girls, they watched the same TV shows and they even sat in the same recliners. Joey and Chandler were inseparable. When they tried to move away from each other, Chandler ended up with a creep for a roommate and they were back together in the blink of an eye. It’s tough to compare such close friends, but Chandler is definitely superior.

Chandler is funny, good looking, practical and caring. His terrible jokes bring a smile to everyone. Chandler also has a fascinating family. His mother is an outstanding writer of novels with questionable content, and his father likes to wear dresses. No one really knows what Chandler’s job is, but he makes good money, and according to Rachel, he is a transponster. Some people question Chandler’s decision-making based on his relationship with Janice, but I would argue that Janice was a catch. Not only is she gorgeous, but I think her laugh is endearing. Chandler didn’t care what other people thought of her because he is caring and sweet. He treated Monica extraordinarily well. Lastly, Chandler has style. He dresses like a real dad, and even pretended to be a dad once but got in quite a pickle when he lost the baby.

Joey on the other hand is a pig. He objectifies women and eats too much. He is also not the smartest. He starred in a commercial featuring lipstick for men, and he firmly believes that he can drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds. He once surrendered his masculinity by wearing a purse, and he thinks he can speak French. He is also forgetful and can at times be a bad friend. He was supposed to set Phoebe up on a blind date, and after forgetting to find someone, he bribed a random stranger ten minutes before. Though he is lovable, Joey clearly is not nearly as awesome as Chandler.

These two friends will live on as one of the most dynamic duos of all time. No matter what anyone says about Joey or Chandler, they hold special places in our hearts. Chandler’s place is just a little bit more special.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She Said:

Joey, Joseph Francis Tribbiani, Dr. Drake Ramoray, the best character in Friends; any of these names will do. It is not even a question that Joey is the most beloved character in the hit television show Friends. Let’s put it this way: who would pick a sarcastic, sometimes rude and awkward guy over a sweet, pretty, smooth-talking and loving guy who always has your back?

I am probably the biggest Friends fan in the world, and I have watched the entire show about ten times over, and every time I watch it, I hate a different character. I have hated Chandler about four times, but I have never hated Joey. This is because Chandler is just more annoying than Joey, and this is how the writers meant it to be. I am aware that Chandler is comic relief during the few intense parts of the show, but Chandler doesn’t even know how to be sensitive to the other characters when he needs to be. He says it best when he is trying to help Rachel with a problem and he says, “I’m not great at the advice… Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

Not only is Chandler brought down by his inability to be sensitive, but his track record with girls doesn’t exactly help his case. His first serious girlfriend is Cathy, who cheats on him, next is Aurora, who also dates two other men while dating him, and of course, Janice, who is the most annoying woman the show has ever seen. Add all these girls together “oh…my…God.” As Phoebe would say, “Your collective dating record reads like a who’s who of human crap.” Chandler struggles with feminine relationships throughout the entire show until he finally settles down with Monica, who, let’s be real, is way out of his league. Simply put, Chandler is sort of just the loser of the show that everyone makes fun of. I mean, not even his best friends know what he does for a living. I think everyone’s feelings towards Chandler is summarized best when Rachel tells Joey that out of all their friends, she would most likely punch Chandler.

Joey, on the other hand, is quite the opposite of Chandler. First of all, Joey is a great friend to everyone on the show. He is always there for his friends whenever they need him. For example, in season eight, when Joey thinks Phoebe is pregnant, he proposes to her so that she doesn’t have to be a single mother. Then, when Joey finds out that Rachel is actually the one who is pregnant, he proposes to her. Also, in season seven, when Phoebe is heartbroken over David, Joey consoles her even though he is mad at her for standing him up. Not only is Joey a great friend, but he is also a family man. Joey is there for his mom when he finds out his dad is cheating on her, and for his sister when she tells him that she is pregnant. Though Joey may not be the smartest guy out there, he is the sweetest and the most caring. In addition, Joey has a much cooler job than Chandler. Joey is an actor while Chandler is a..well um…something with numbers. Though it took Joey a while to have any success in his career, he finally got his big break when he landed the role of Dr. Drake Ramoray in Days of Our Lives. Also, everybody knows that Joey is very good with the ladies. I mean, who wouldn’t swoon over the pretty boy with the big acting job and the famous “how you doin’?” Simply put, Joey is the guy that the other guys want to be and the girls want to be with.

 

He Said; She Said

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  • Birks.jpg
    Photo by: Ellie Hall

He Said:

by Will Harper

Frankfurter, Volkswagen, gummy bear, Autobahn, mythology, Bach, Beethoven, twisty pretzel, sausage, Birkenstock- these are a few of my favorite things- all of which happen to have originated in the great land of Germany. Pardon my “Sound of Music” reference. That epic film is actually set in Austria, but what is the difference? Germany has produced an abundance of cool people, food, inventions and other stuff, but there is one product of this magical place that stands far above the rest. Birkenstocks are the greatest things ever invented.

I do not even know what dumb shoes Emma is defending, but I promise Birkenstocks are superior in every way. These German feats of engineering are perfect for running, jumping, skipping, walking, galloping, karaoke, frolicking, dancing and anything else that anyone could ever do. Some of them are actually pretty ugly, but it is not always about looking the best. Regardless of how “stylish” they are, Birkenstocks undoubtedly make a fashion statement that is nothing short of heroic. Our president Barack Obama says, “I love Birkenstocks, and they are amazing.”** How could anyone ever disagree with the president?  **not a real quote

Birkenstocks have been endorsed by a host of other celebrities too. For example, a quick google search would yield images of Usher, Ashton Kutcher, Heidi Klum, Ellie Hall, Camille High and Jesus all wearing these handsome foot coverings. Even the Oscar-less Leonardo DiCaprio has been known to sport some stocks every once in a while. The infamous plank that kept Rose alive but perplexingly did not have room for Jack at the end of “Titanic” was actually just a Birkenstock flipped upside down.

I received my first pair of stocks at the ripe age of 10. I wore them every day and slept in them until they bore a scent more foul than the areas of the freshman hallway surrounding Dr. G’s room during pig dissection. It wasn’t until my 17th birthday that I finally got a new pair. Emma was furious. She sub-tweeted about me, but I used my new sandals to block out the haters. I could go on for days about all the great features of my Birkenstocks, but one basic principal of good “He Said; She Said” writing is to ensure that the articles are similar in length. That being said, I need to wrap things up because Emma will not have much to say about her lame shoes. Birkenstocks are perfect, and it is just silly to try and compare them to any other shoes.

She Said:

by Emma Parrish

Let me get this straight, this is in no way a “He said; She said” worth arguing over because it is evident that I will win. For starters, Birkenstocks are the most hideous “fad” to ever come back in style. Who remembers wearing those awful-clog shoes when they were 8? My point exactly, you were a child who did not have a sense of fashion. Now a days, you see teenage girls all over the Atlanta area wearing these hideous-sandal, style Birkenstocks. They all say that they are “comfortable”, but I would take fashion over comfort any day. A fashion blogger even said in a review that, “They’re not sleek and beautiful by any means.” By owning Birkenstocks, you are taking a major risk in your friendships because there is a high possibility that someone will disapprove. I will never forget the day Will made the horrible decision to get Birkenstocks for his 17th birthday, I have not spoken to him since.

Everyone has seemed to have fallen into this trend simply because “everyone else is wearing them.” Well if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you? No, I did not think so. Celebrities have a huge influence on the youth in America. Recently, pictures have surfaced of them wearing Birkenstocks in the tabloids. I believe that celebrities should use their fame to influence teenagers in a positive way, not making them think wearing obnoxious shoes in our society is okay. It is also concerning how attached some people have become to their so called “birks.” They think that it is okay to wear these atrocious, casual things with any outfit, during any season, now that is a fashion foe. It’s like wearing flip flops in the winter, it makes no logical sense. The worst part about it is that it comes in a variety of colors. Now I can somewhat handle the classic brown style but when I saw Jordi Fietz wearing yellow Birkenstocks, I nearly fainted. Birkenstocks are not cheap either. You are basically paying $100 to embarrass yourself. This money could easily go to something worthwhile like fighting world hunger or towards your college fund. Birkenstocks have already gone out of style at one point so it will not be too long before you start to see them slowly fade away again. The day I can walk through a store and never have to look at a pair of Birkenstocks again will be one of the best days of my life.

 

 

When Will I Ever Use This?

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If I had a dollar for every time I have asked myself, my classmates or my teachers the question “When will I ever use this?” I would already be retired in the Hamptons. I vividly remember the first time I began to question the idea of school in fifth grade. I was sitting in Mrs. Greene’s math class learning about integers, and I began to wonder how my new knowledge of positive whole numbers and their opposites would ever apply to my career as a professional athlete of some sort. I was a naïve 11-year-old at the time in more ways than one, but that would not be the last occasion on which I asked a question along the lines of “Why am I learning this?”

Now that I am a mature adult, I have come to the unfortunate realization that despite my water polo skills, I will not be a professional athlete of any sort, so perhaps integers actually will apply to my career on some level. That being said, it is still valid to assert that the majority of the information I learn in high school will be useless to me in six years. If one day I pursue a career in business, my understanding of Life of Pi, The Crucible, “Ode to a Grecian Urn,” Calculus or Physics is unlikely to contribute to my success, so what is the point?

It is important to question why we do things the way we do. Why do we learn things every day that we will only use if we become a high school teacher? What would school be like if we only learned skills and information that apply directly to careers we are interested in? This may initially seem like a brilliant idea, but upon further consideration, some of the downfalls become clear.

school
Image: Google Images

 

I believe school would be boring, impractical and ineffective if it functioned this way. First of all, regardless of what many students may think, the vast majority of high schoolers have no clue what they will be doing in 10 years. Secondly, a curriculum so narrowly focused would quickly become extraordinarily dull. You are probably thinking “school is already boring,” but imagine if you were only in one class all day. Diversifying our studies keeps things interesting, at least to a degree. Finally, lacking education in areas that do not apply to a specific career would for all intents and purposes make us robots who are only capable of operating for one purpose or task.

So perhaps we should broaden our studies in high school and learn a few things that will not necessarily apply directly to the career path we choose, but do I still need to learn about derivatives and Newton’s Laws? Of course. Though it may often feel like a waste of time, there is so much value in learning any new concepts or information. I seriously doubt that a business man would ever need to know the slope of the tangent line of any function at any point, but learning to think critically by way of finding the derivative teaches us to reason and solve problems. High school teaches us so much in so many different ways, and all of it will apply to our future careers even if none of it does.

I pride myself on my ability to solve problems and get things done. I owe so much of that to Mrs. Smith, Dr. G and Jonathan Koch, among others. Though Honors Pre-Calculus, Biology and American Literature might not be at the forefront of my future occupation, the concepts I learned in those classes taught me to think in different ways, and that will help me be successful. Next time you are frustrated because you think you are learning useless information, you might be right, but do not be discouraged. That useless information just might be the key to your future success.

 

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